Part 64: Mission 64: Second Verse, Same as the First
As soon as we were refueled and rearmed, we made our move on the second artifact site. There were no further preparations to be made - at least, none that could be done in a timely manner. Though the Forces of Darkness had yet to visit either key site, they had begun assembling their forces at sites near the barrier. It was possible they'd discovered, or believed they'd discovered, some other means to destroy the barrier. More likely, though, they were waiting for us to do it for them. Once the ritual to remove the barrier was complete, they would be able to cross the threshold just as easily as we would. Time was on their side, after all, and we needed the sword more than they did.
Mission 64: Second Verse, Same as the First
Attending:
Lazarus (Forlorn Hope, Mobile Infantry)
T. Hinman (Ethereal Corps, Mobile Infantry)
Habitually Red (Sane Max's Own, Mobile Infantry)
Gordon Frohman (Concerned Citizens, Mobile Infantry)
Solrick Skaft (Scion of Emer, Mobile Infantry)
Joe Moore (War Boys, Mobile Infantry)
"Doctor" Snark (Mage Killers, Mobile Infantry)
Emil Västerström (Trollhunters, Mobile Infantry)
Mael Radec (Radec's Rhinos, Destructor)
Svetlana Aliyev (Rusalka, Destructor)
Patrick Gallagher (Just In Time, Destructor)
Erik Spanner (The Toolbox, Destructor)
James "Griff" Griffin (Party Crashers, Destructor)
Basil (Paladin, Destructor)
Reginald P. Linux (Doom Squad, Leopard 2A5)
Grandalt Noddington (Tea Battalion, Leopard 2A5)
Hulk Hogan (The Hulkamaniacs, Leopard 2A5)
Aethereon Darkfyre (The Mary Sues, UDES)
Stephen Smith (The Counts of Monty Python, UDES)
Grand Inquisitor Solaus (Balkanian Inquisition, MLRS)
Michael de Boulogne (Chivalric Order of Saint George, MLRS)
Gregor (The Swell Swords, MLRS)
Pusher Bot (The Space Robots, MLRS)
Uzgob (Deff Skwadron, MLRS)
Anil E. Hilated, Esq. (Polite Obliteration, M106)
Cholmondely Featherstonehaugh-Smythe (Sphinx Battery, Roland)
Sigrún Raske (Skysmasher Brigade, Roland)
Roger Murtaugh (Less Than Lethal, Roland)
Bob & Doug McKenzie (Royal Canadian Red-greens, Mi-24)
Amerlia Earhart (Time Warp, Mi-24)
Vlasta Devínská (Paper Tigers, Universal 2R)
Charles C Thuluu (Strange Aeons, Universal 2R)
Intel indicated that the enemy force was composed similarly to the last one. Aerial surveillance had indicated that the terrain itself had been sculpted to a near-match for the previous battlefield.
On a hill directly ahead of the trail leading in was, sure enough, a collection of demons. Though there was once again the inexplicable presence of recently-developed armored vehicles.
In any case, they proved no match for the Drunken Slavs. What happened next, though, was something of a shock.
Vlasta Devínská: Alright, this hill's nice and high. Let's see what the radar can...
Vlasta Devínská: Damnit. Sorry, guys, need a minute to reset the system. This piece of shit is thinks I'm surrounded by ghosts for some reason.
Aethereon Darkfyre: Vlasta? I don't mean to alarm you, but...
Vlasta Devínská: Jesus Christ, get them off me!
Griff: You're fine, Vlasta! Just a few ghosts. Nothing we can't handle by now.
Vlasta Devínská: Where did they all come from, though? I mean, you guys saw, right? That hill was empty when I was driving up.
Erik Spanner: Yeah, it's annoying. Not the first time it happened, though. That's magical bullshit for you!
Vlasta Devínská: So if they can do that, why have they never dropped ghosts on any of us while we were in the shitter?
Habitually Red: Got me. Let's just be glad they haven't.
Charles C Thuluu: Can't hurt to check the north again, right? This place isn't an exact match for the other one. Maybe we'll have another path this time.
Charles C Thuluu: Nope. Useless dead end.
"Doctor" Snark: Guess we're taking the southwest bridge again. Let's move!
Mael Radec: Alright, people, you know the drill. There's probably a hill ahead, and the enemy probably has Mammoths for God knows what reason. Darkfyre, you're up. Roll up and shield our radar.
Aethereon Darkfyre: If I don't make it, tell X_Crystal_Dragon_Princess1111_X I love her!
Aethereon Darkfyre: ...It's quiet.
Stephen Smith: That's odd. We're almost at the cave entrance. They should be swarming us by now.
Vlasta Devínská: I'll see if I can pick anything up.
Vlasta Devínská: Ohhhh, shit. Radec, you'll wanna bring everyone up for this. They've got a Breorn.
Amerlia Earhart: A what?
Lazarus: That huge thing with a death aura we killed at the second Gate.
Amerlia Earhart: I wasn't there for that, but everyone's heard about it by now. Why not just airstrike it?
Vlasta Devínská: Because it's not alone.
Vlasta Devínská: There's these things there... never seen 'em before. Weird, glowing boxes with skulls on the front. I don't know if they're creatures or some kind of constructs or what.
Solaus: Everyone find a place you can fit, then! We're going for maximum firepower here.
Gregor: Skull-boxes are tough, but Gregor's rockets destroy all!
Reginald P. Linux: Here they come! I wonder wh-
Reginald P. Linux: ...Okay, that wasn't too bad. About like a Hell Rider's fireball. I'm sure it's nasty if you're unprotected, but it's nothing my armor can't handle.
Griff: Everyone hold tight! They're climbing the hill to rain fire on us!
Patrick Gallagher: Never mind that! We've gotta take out the Breorn!
Bob McKenzie: Got our own engagement at the moment, eh.
Patrick Gallagher: Alright, everyone, concentrate! We've done this before, aim for the head! Right between the eyes, if possible!
Svetlana Aliyev: Damnit! I got it in one of its eyes instead.
Michel du Boulogne: I don't think anyone's going to complain, Svet.
Grandalt Noddington: I imagine that the Breorn might have a few issues with it.
Michel du Boulogne: It doesn't count!
Svetlana Aliyev: In any case, no one's complaining now.
Erik Spanner: Guess all that leaves is the crawling wooden boxes and the enemy tanks that are somehow much less of a threat. Come to think of it, how the Hell do the boxes' own fireballs not make them explode? Must be magical bullshit.
Gordon Frohman: Actually, they made a cannon out of wood in one of the Mythbusters episode and it worked.
Erik Spanner: Oh God, I knew I couldn't trust those fuckers. The magical bullshit is coming from inside the house
Doug McKenzie: 'ere's the cave. Doesn't look like they're keen on us having it, though.
Pusher Bot: The primary threat is gone. Odds of Drunken Slavs victory approaching one hundred percent!
Griff: You need to fix your algorithm, Pusher. The Drunken Slavs never lose!
Habitually Red: Actually, we've had to retreat twice.
Griff: ...We've done a lot of missions. It's close enough for government work.
Reginald P. Linux: Wait, what the hell...
Reginald P. Linux: The damn box is charging me!
Basil: Shit, Reggie!
Gordon Frohman: The hell? Those boxes just suicide bombed us!
Solrick Skaft: Forget it, just focus on the ghosts! We've almost got this.
Svetlana Aliyev: Linux! You okay?
Reginald P. Linux: No, I'm not okay! Christ, those blasts were huge! Managed to take out most of 'em, but the last three just rammed a tank apiece and blew.
Mael Radec: Well, we know what they can do now, at least. Shame we had to find out that way, though.
Erik Spanner: I remember when skellies were average-ish soldiers with terrifying defense. Now they just have average-ish defense and are shit at everything else.
Bob McKenzie: Just had to chase down one last straggler, eh.
"Doctor" Snark: Alright, then, our work's done. Soon as the pencil-necks get what they came for, we head back and wait for however long it takes 'em to figure out how to use these things.
It seemed that whatever god had overseen this place had spared no effort in its defense. In securing the artifact, we not only killed another one of the ancient and legendary Breorn, but also found ourselves facing a dangerous enemy that even the Forces of Darkness had yet to field against us.
They had fallen, though, just as the other guardians had. We now held the key and, our scientists believed, all of the information we needed to decode and carry out the ritual. The end was in sight - not just of this campaign, but of the entire war.